


"A Black Hole of Bad Ideas" - an autobiography

by obstinateRixatrix



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Gen, umbrella sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4656903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obstinateRixatrix/pseuds/obstinateRixatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Investigation Team shares an umbrella.<br/>The entire Investigation Team.<br/>A single umbrella.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"A Black Hole of Bad Ideas" - an autobiography

Thunderstorms in Inaba are, Kanji decides, a huge pain in the ass. One second it's an alright day, maybe a little gloomy but whatever, then bam! Someone dumps a bucket of water on the entire town. That someone being Mother Nature.

It's an even bigger pain in the ass with only a broken umbrella for company. But, well, there's nothing to be done, except to tent a coat overhead, run like the wind-

"Kanji-kun!"

-get grabbed by the collar, and yanked under a ridiculously huge umbrella. Kanji blinks once, twice, and tries to reorient himself. "Yukiko-senpai?" And Chie-senpai, but that probably goes without saying. Plus, she's not the one with the iron grip on his shirt.

"What on earth are you doing? You'll get yourself sick," she chides, clicking her tongue with maximum disapproval. "Are you in a hurry?"

"'M fine," he mumbles, drawing his coat tighter now that he's not using it as a makeshift tarp. "Just trying to get home." People tend to raise a fuss if he does anything that looks like it'll make trouble (such as: existing in their line of sight) - barring the shrine (maybe if he wants to walk in on some couples necking) and the bit of shelter by the floodplain (yeah, that's way too far) there's nowhere to really wait out the rain.

"If there isn't any rush, why don't we walk you there? The bus doesn’t come for another hour and," Chie flourishes a hand, an unnecessary demonstration of the space under their seriously humongous umbrella, "we've definitely got room for one more."

"Yeah, I was kinda wondering 'bout that - why's your umbrella so big?"

"Well," Yukiko starts, "whenever we share a normal-sized umbrella, Chie only holds it over me. What's the point of sharing an umbrella if one of us gets soaked anyway? So I got us a family-sized one." What a great idea, says her decisive nod. Truly the pinnacle of deductive reasoning, a beautiful epitome of the application of logic.

"Uh," is Kanji's response, as opposed to 'you have an umbrella specifically for sharing,' because honestly, of course they do. He decides not to dwell on it. "I mean, I wouldn't want to get in the way or anything."

"'In the way'..?"

"What're you talking about?"

"You're..." holding hands right in front of him, but Kanji can't bring himself to be so direct. "If it's gonna be a bother-"

"It's no trouble at all." Yukiko tugs until they're arranged so he's trailing to the side, slightly hunched to keep from hitting the top of his fabric ceiling. "Honestly, you really should take better care of yourself." Before he can offer a retort, she catches sight of another familiar face. "Oh, Rise-chan!"

Sure enough, there she stands, peaking out from under a storefront awning. In a stunning display of teamwork and cooperation, they manage to shuffle towards her with a surprising amount of success.

"Jeez," Chie huffs, the force of it knocking the umbrella into Kanji’s head. "Don't tell me you're stuck in the rain too."

"'Too'? I guess that explains the weird parade." She giggles, even more when Yukiko joins in with an unladylike snort. "I thought I'd make it to the shop before the rain hit, but no such luck."

"If you're just headed home, you might as well walk with us - we're dropping Kanji-kun off."

Rise lets out a contemplative hum. "Normally I'd be worried about getting in the way, but it looks like someone’s beat me to it."

"Hey!"

"Huh?"

"Seriously, what're you guys talking about?"

Rise glances to their joined hands, then to Kanji with a raised eyebrow. All he can really offer is a shrug, which is apparently good enough for her. "Alright then, make room!"

It's slightly more crowded with four people under the umbrella, plus their shuffling has descended into a snail’s crawl, but it's not so bad - at least he's not the only one who has to hear his senpai bicker about who’s turn it is to hold the umbrella, when it's appropriate to switch off, that sort of thing. At one point he's nearly brought into it, with the point "since I'm taller, it makes sense for me to - look at poor Kanji!"

Thankfully he's saved by some intervention from Rise, who interrupts with "isn't that Naoto-kun?"

And indeed it is, walking out of Daidara’s with something bright and colorful in hand. At the sound of their voices, Naoto jumps, quickly shoving it back in the bag, but such speed is no match for Kanji’s sharp eye.

“Holy shit, is that-!”

“-Feather Swan’s-!”

Kanji cuts himself off to stare at Yukiko, eyes bright with excitement. “Woah, you too senpai?”

She nods enthusiastically, pointing towards Naoto with a dramatic flair. “Unless we defeat evil, we can forget about a bright future!” She strikes Feather Hawk’s signature pose, to the applause of everyone under the umbrella. “Come, Feather Swan! Without you, we can’t hope to overcome the Instant Ramen Smorgasbord!”

Rise stops mid-clap, tilting her head. “Instant ramen what now?”

“One of the early episodes.” Chie shrugs, shifting the umbrella to better cover her friend’s wild posing. “Apparently they’ve been showing a lot of reruns for some special event.”

“It’s to commemorate the anniversary of the first Featherman series, as well as to advertise the upcoming ‘Phoenix Ranger Featherman Victory’; reception has been lukewarm regarding the promotion of Pink Argus to the leadership position, along with the fact that a relative newcomer has been cast to play the role, but I believe… it’s...” Naoto seems to balk under the weight of everyone’s attention, but after a cough, gathers the strength to press on. “Such a unique approach will surely breathe new life into the genre.”

“Oh yeah, I think I heard something about that. She’s not that much older than us, Yuke… ba..?” Rise trails off, scrunching her nose in frustration. “Shoot, this is going to bother me all day.”

“It’s good to see you all, but if you’ll excuse me,” Naoto says, giving the group a curt nod, “I’ve a bus to catch.”

“Bus..?” Chie shakes her head. “You just missed it.”

Nearly dropping the bag, Naoto slumps forward, uncharacteristically frazzled. “I must’ve spent too much time looking at… I suppose I’m stuck here until the next one, then. Or at least until this storm dies down.”

“Well, I'm headed there myself with Chie after dropping these two off - why don't we go together?"

Naoto stares skeptically at the crowded umbrella.

"It'll be a tight fit, but we'll fine," Chie reassures. "We'll just have to get close. I mean, you _could_ wait here until we double back, but it’ll be better to walk with us, right? The more the merrier!"

Another stare, this time directed towards their hands (rejoined after Yukiko’s stunning performance), but nonetheless the detective caves to their incessant needling. “I suppose, since we’re close enough to Marukyu...”

“I get it, I get it, I’m the fifth wheel,” Rise sighs, rolling her eyes at the chorus of denial and confusion.

After some more rearranging they're all mostly covered, pressed tight like a pack of penguins and moving slower than ever. Naoto’s shoulder is digging into his arm, which is… really...

"Kanji-kun, you're awfully red! This is why you shouldn't run in the rain, you'll catch your death!"

"Sh-shut up! I'm not getting sick!"

"Senpai, exposure to rain is not a direct cause of catching a cold."

"Well if he's not sick, I wonder, what could _possibly_ be making his face so red? Hey detective prince, think you can solve the mystery?"

" _Rise-!_ "

"Woah, what a crowd."

Kanji sighs in relief as Yosuke flags them down, dragging Souji behind him. That relief quickly vanishes when he opens his mouth again.

“Kanji, you sly dog,” he teases, because of course he would.

“You’re one to talk,” Rise calls back, which, at the very least, shuts his damn mouth for a second. She should seriously decide whether she’s going to be a helping hand or a pain in the ass. “What’re you guys doing?”

"Picking up Teddie from Junes,” he says with forced nonchalance, clearly trying to make it sound as tedious a task anyone could possibly be subjected to.

Rise remains unimpressed. “With Souji?”

“I ran into him on the way! He was looking for cats. In this weather! Can you believe him?”

"It's not like they stop existing in the rain."

"That's not..." Yosuke pinches the bridge of his nose and mutters under his breath, giving Souji ample time to regard their group with interest.

“That looks cozy. I'm starting to feel lonely with just Yosuke.”

“Excuse me!?”

"I'm sure we can fit two more."

“Oh no no nonono, Yukiko no! No way! We’re crowded enough as is!”

"Look,” Yosuke says, in an attempt to guide his companion away from the black hole of Bad Ideas, “we gotta get going. I can't keep Ted waiting, he's-"

"Yoooossuuuuukeeeeeeee!"

"-here, apparently." With a long-suffering sigh, Yosuke turns to face the rapidly approaching bear, bracing himself for impact. He doesn't even flinch when Teddie gets close enough to launch himself, though he does lose his grip on the umbrella, letting it fall into Souji’s waiting hand after getting slapped by a very damp sleeve. “You’re soaked! What happened to your jacket!?”

“A nice lady needed it!”

“Aw, how sweet.” Rise pats him on the head, letting him soak up the praise like a sponge.

“With Teddie, that makes all of us.” Souji’s remark is mild, completely harmless, but the contemplative tilt of his head is anything but.

“You’re still…” Chie sighs, planting a hand on her hip. “Alright, maybe one more could’ve fit, two’s kinda pushing it, but I’m drawing the line at three! There’s no way all eight of us can fit under this umbrella!”

Yukiko’s eyes gleam at the challenge, accompanied by the sound of Yosuke telling his partner not to close the umbrella, no, don’t you dare-

 

* * *

 

"Kanji-kun, please remove your elbow from my head."

“Wh-! Sorry!”

"I swear, Yosuke, if that was your hand-"

"Don't look at me, I can barely move!"

"Oh sorry, that might've been me."

"Jeez Yukiko-senpai, wait 'til you're alone for that!"

"I-it wasn't on purpose!"

“I found Yosuke’s hand.”

“We weren’t actually looking for it, partner, you don’t… have to...”

“Me too!”

“Hey! That’s _my_ hand!”

“What!? How could this be! Not only missing sensei’s hand, but also the hand of every lovely lady in this bearpile? Even Yosuke’s would be better!”

“Great, glad we got that covered, now will you _let go_ -"

“It can’t end like this! I won’t allow it! Get ready for round two!”

“Ted! Stop pulling, you dumb bear! You’re gonna make us-!”

Of course, they fall into a puddle the size of the Samegawa. Just as deep, too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this stood on its own too much to be a coda to the last Damage Control chapter. I have never written a fic so fast. this is literally one of the most self-indulgent things I've ever written. thank god for the featherman page on the smt wiki


End file.
